First of all, I would like to thank everyone who had positive thoughts and prayers for my dad, and also for my family. A miracle did occur. On Wednesday, when we went into the hospital to see my dad and discover what the surgeons had decided to do, we were in for a pleasant surprise.
My dad was just eating lunch. The doctors decided to let him go home for Thanksgiving. The tests showed that the aneurysm had not yet burst, and they were willing to wait for a couple more days before they made their final decision to try to repair the aneurysm through a vein in his leg or directly through the chest.
With great joy, we loaded dad into the car, raced home, fed him dinner and tucked him in his hospital bed. I’m sure you can only imagine the look of joy on his partially paralyzed face to be back in his bed with his favorite TV clicker clicking through the channels, looking for something worthy.
We are definitely overjoyed to have dad back home with us again. Our greatest fear was that he would die during the heart surgery. The issue of the aneurysm breaking is still with us.
If you could, we would really appreciate your continued prayers and positive thoughts for the next week. I hope the aneurysm won’t burst before the 30th when we go in to the cardiovascular surgeon’s office to see what exactly is the current status of dad’s life-threatening condition.
Also, my entire family is extremely grateful to all the people that I’ve met over the last 20 years at medical trade shows, the North Dallas Chamber of Commerce meetings and at the Internet seminars. There were kind enough to reply to my e-mail and lift my dad and our family up in prayer.
I will be answering everyone’s e-mail as fast as I possibly can. In light of the things that are going on in my life at this point in time, this may take a few days.
I will be taking care of mom and dad full time because Janet will be flying out on Saturday to Louisiana to spend a few of her mom’s final days on earth. Her mom just recently came down with the very aggressive form of a cancer that attacked her liver, pancreas and kidneys.
It seems that for whatever God’s reason is, we are going through many trials and tribulations. I was astounded how many of you who replied to my email are going through the same thing or have already been there and done that.
Just your prayers, words of encouragement, and your response has made a huge difference in my attitude. I have greater hope and peace thanks to you. Perhaps those who responded to my email for help will allow me to publish their kind words of encouragement in this blog. Their words were so inspiring, I know they will help others that are going through the very same thing.
Perhaps some of you would even be willing to write stories about your experiences to help encourage those of us going through the gradual dying process of our loved ones and those who will be following the same path in the near future.
I have decided to republish my story of my dad’s and mom’s illnesses that occurred last year. Hopefully, after reading my response to the ups and downs, failures and successes you won’t feel so all alone.
Hopefully, the struggles, trials and tribulations that I experienced and my determination with the help of God to be victorious will help you or someone you know that is having a hard time…anyone taking care of sick family members. The task is one of the most difficult anyone will ever face in their lifetime.
It is critically important to have the prayers and positive thoughts of family members and friends to overcome those situations. Again, I would just like to thank everybody that took their time to send words of encouragement and lift my family and my dad up in prayer.
What is next now that Janet and I have to drive to San Diego to take care of my mom and dad? by Ralph Zuranski
The BIG question facing my family today is, “What do you do when one or both of your beloved family members suffer a quality of life threatening disease like a stroke, congestive heart failure and pneumonia?”
I sit here at my computer with tears rolling down my cheeks. FEAR of the unknown threatens my peace and financial security like the “sword of Damocles,” hanging by a thin thread above my head.
As the water from my broken heart splashes onto my keyboard, I think of all of you other Baby Boomers in my shoes, soon to be or already there.
Are you also facing or in the midst of dealing with the gut wrenching decisions of what to do with your parents? I am crying for my mom and dad and our grandkids and their parents. I can still vividly remember the joyful moments at our last Christmas celebration when everyone was healthy.
Is our lifestyle as we now know it changed forever?
Radical changes are now forced upon us by events forged in the nightmares of our dreams. Not in our wildest imaginations did we ever consider life threatening diseases would impact our family. Are you suffering a similar situation also?
What am I to do now that quality of life threatening diseases have catastrophically struck both my mom and dad within two months?
A massive stroke, congestive heart failure and pneumonia have devastated my family in the last two months. My mom, at 88, barely survived pneumonia and congestive heart failure, in March of this year. My dad, at the age of 82, on Sunday, May 23, suffered a massive stroke. He is still in critical care and is paralyzed on the left side. Will he make it out of the hospital alive? What will happen to my mom?
Why is it so hard for parents to accept the advice of their kids?
If only my mom and dad had taken some of my advice over the last 40 years. They witnessed how dramatically the different alternative, complimentary, natural and holistic therapies helped me and Janet.
Why wouldn’t they at least try some of the therapies that were so beneficial before catastrophe struck?
The agony of knowing our loved ones don’t have to suffer catastrophic diseases like heart attack, stroke, pneumonia, cancer and congestive heart failure wrenches my soul. My frustration levels are off the chart. “What can you do when the answers are right in front of your face and your family members don’t want to listen?”
Preventive therapies are worth their weight in gold!
How true is this statement, especially when it is too late? Why do people spend more money on their cars, houses, toys and vacations than their health? Why do they seek after wealth and material possessions, sacrificing their health in the process?
I almost scream out loud, “WAKE UP!”
Am I such an evil person? I constantly fight against the compulsion to take all my family members and friends by their shirts and try to shake some sense into them.
In the inner recesses of my mind I am screaming, “Change your ways before it is too late.”
I know. I know! Screaming at people you love and shaking them like a dog worries a bone is not politically correct. I promise all my dear friends, family members and visitors not to touch one hair on your head.
Janet and I are now facing the thing everyone in the Baby Boomer Generation fears.
It is time to step up to the plate. Do we have the emotional and financial reserves that are required to make my parents’ final days as joyful, peaceful and comfortable as possible?
Are we willing to give back for all the love, caring and support from my mom and dad over 55 years?
Are we grateful enough to radically change our current lives? What can we do to take care of them the best we possibly can?
Choosing between the grandkids and taking care of dying parents is an agonizing decision.
Janet and I moved to Dallas five years ago to help raise the grandkids and emotionally and financially support our son and daughter-in-law. Life these days seems so difficult on their generation…light years different from the 50s and 60s.
Our decision to help my parents breaks the hearts of many in the family.
As Janet and I prepare to drive from Dallas to San Diego on Thursday, to help take care of my mom and dad, a trail of tears will mark our path. The sweet smiling faces of our dear sweet grandchildren, Hannah and Lauren, and the bitter tears of parting streaming down their cheeks will haunt our memories.
“What are we going to take with us that we will need immediately?” is the next big question.
As this question floods my consciousness, I think about what will help my dad the most. First on my list is the two oxygen concentrators. I use then when I am exercising to increase the oxygen saturation levels in my blood. This therapy alone has been worth its weight in gold for increasing my energy and clarity of mind. I feel younger than I have felt in 20 years. I know they will help my dad, but his is paralyzed on his right side. I don’t think is quite ready for exercising wiht oxygen yet. They are so big and would take up too much room I decide to leave them for the final trip to San Diego.
My next big thought is, “How in the world am I going to get all my computers and electronic gear into the 1998 Toyota Camry.
Luckily, I kept the boxes to my powerful Sony multi-media PCV-RZ32G desktop and SDM-HS73 LCD 17″ screen. I packed them up and stuffed them into the trunk. Wow! Did they ever take up a lot of space. Then I loaded my Sony PCG-GRX550 laptop, Sony PEG-NX70V Clie and Palm Zire 71 and PDA handhelds, Microsoft natural keyboard and mouse, Net Gear Broadband WiFi gear and PCMCIA card, etc.
Yes, I admit I am the total GEEK.
In school we were formely known as NERDS. Now we are GEEKs and are needed by anyone with a computer…just about everyone. Well, the bottom line is when Janet saw the pile of electronic gear sitting by the door she flipped.
Janet said in no uncertain terms, “Leave all that tech-head stuff behind.
I need to bring all my clothes, makeup, hairspay, shoes and secret female stuff.” Since I have been married for 8 years, I knew what to say. “Yes dear!” While bitting my tongue and agonizing how much of my beloved technology I would have to leave behind, I dutifully loaded Janet’s precious materials.
What to take with us was getting tougher all the time.
My over-inflated idea of how much would fit in the care slapped me upside the head. After I put Janet’s giant suitcase in the back seat, along with two large plastic bags of her other necessities, my options were shrinking fast. I decided to cram as much as possible into the trunk and on top of the items in the back seat.
Finally, after loading all my books on health and brain integration, software, hard drives, vitamins, exercise devices, super-food powders, water, Acuscope, Myopulse and other healing instruments, the car was so loaded you could not see out the back window.
Janet immediately informed me this was unacceptable. I quickly smashed everything down and stuffed the bare minimum amount of clothing into the cracks. I guess I could survive with a few T-shirts, underwear, socks and shorts.
To be continued….