How Fear and Terror Knocked on My Door Every Foot Of The Way But I Would Not Let The In! by Ralph Zuranski

Everything was going great until Las Cruces New Mexico. 

Being broiled alive at the last rest stop seemed to be the catalyst needed to stay awake. As the car approached the Border Patrol station, a tune was on my lips. The air conditioning was working perfectly. The car flew along at 75 miles per hour with no hint of complaint. The searing hot environment was shielded by my steel cocoon.

It is difficult to successfully battle the intense levels of terror and fear created when you realize something is seriously wrong with your car in 111 degree heat.
As the car slowed, the engine suddenly died 200 yards from the inspection station. My heart sank into the pit of my stomach. Fear, False Evidence Appearing Real, immediately penetrated my consciousness like a red hot knife. The terror of being crushed from behind by an out of control 16 wheeler became my momentary reality.

Unexpected events throw a monkey wrench in your activities, just when you feel on top of the world.
Has your car ever died on the freeway with cars honking and drivers YELLING obscenities? There was just enough forward motion to get the car out of the one lane of traffic onto the side pavement.

Again and again the ignition failed to ignite the spark plugs.
“What was wrong? What’s wrong?” I wondered. Was the car out of gas? Was my exhaustion so great, filling the gas tank had been only a delirious dream?

Suddenly, a Border Patrol vehicle, with lights flashing, raced up to my car with the agents waving their hands wildly and shouting, “Get your car off the pavement onto the shoulder!”
“My car just died for no good reason. It won’t start again,” I yelled in return. The two border patrol agents jumped out of their vehicle. They ran to the rear of my car and yelled, “Put your car into neutral. We are going to push you onto the shoulder.”

Total compliance was my instant response.
After the shoulder became the new home for “Silver Belle,” our loving nickname for the car, I climbed out into the blazing heat. “Thanks for pushing me to a safer area,” I said gratefully. “No problem,” they said in unison. “We were afraid a semi was going to destroy your car. You would not imagine the wrecks we have seen and the people who have died. So many people’s car die right where yours did.”

Would you believe my cell phone had gone dead?
As I looked at the blank screen on my cell phone, the horrible realization hit like a ton of bricks. In my anxiety to get home to see my dad, charging the phone was overlooked the day before. It was a miracle the car died within 200 yards of the border checkpoint.

Miraculous help appears at the times you need it the most in incredible ways.
“Hey! You guys. Can I use your phone to call AARP towing by AAMCO? My cell went dead sometime last night. Like a moron, I forgot to turn it off.” “Sure,” they said in a friendly manner. “But, you will have to ride in the lockup. where we transport illegal aliens.”

My gratitude knew no bounds.
“Thanks,” I said with relief. “Anything to get out of this unbearable heat.” I walked over to their truck and jumped into the back. The cell was small, hot and all metal. Their air conditioning did only a marginal job in cooling the detention area. I took a seat…grateful for the ride. “So this is what the illegal aliens have to endure,” I thought to myself.

The border patrol check point was a huge facility…deliciously cool on such a raging hot day.
The agents generously pointed me to a phone to call the towing service. Their soonest estimate for help was forty minutes. This was the best they could do.

Anxiety, fear, depression and terror tried to creep into my consciousness but with not success.
By this time, I was resigned to whatever happened. I was powerless to do anything but stand around waiting. “Why don’t you wait in the detention area. We can’t have the public wandering around the facility.” an kindly agent suggested.

As I stepped through the large door with steel bars, I suddenly realized a little of the desperation illegal aliens experienced.
“We won’t lock the door,” another agent laughed good-naturedly. “You can use the bathroom if you want.” This last statement was huge relief. I had been drinking plenty of Alacer Emergen-C laced water and taking their Super Gram III. I desperately needed to deposit some of the excess minerals and vitamins in the appropriate receptacle.

Time seemed to slow down to a standstill.
Anxiety, fear and depression again assaulted my consciousness. My only defense was repeating my Bible verse, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart. Lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will direct your paths.” Of course, I had to repeat this verse at least 10 times over and over again. Finally, the peace that goes beyond all understanding arrived…and none too soon.

A premonition to return to my car was stronger than I ever imagined.
As I escaped from detention with a big “Thanks for your help!” on my lips, the heat felt like a blast furnace. Sweat immediately streamed from every pore. Just as I arrived at the car, the tow truck arrived. The drive dumped 5 gallons of gas into the tank. Everyone thought I had forgotten to fill the tank during my journey.

With high hopes and prayer on my lips I jumped into the car and burned my bare legs against the leather seat.
“Ouch,” I screamed, as I rocketed off the seat to a standing position. A towel was my immediate salvation. With the correct placement, the hot seat was not a problem. The tow truck driver suggested I try to get the car started.

My prayers streamed to the heavens.
“Please God, let my car start.” Miraculously, the engine turned over and worked perfectly. I turned off the air conditioning to take the strain off the engine. “I guess it was out of gas after all,” I said excitedly to the driver. “How far is the next gas station, ” I asked concerned. “Just ten miles. Good Luck!” the driver said as I signed the paperwork. He ran for his truck, anxious to be out of the heat.

At this time nothing else mattered…I just wanted to make it to San Diego alive.
At the very next turn off, I stopped to fill up what I imagined was an empty tank plus the 5 gallons from the tow truck driver. As I stood watching the pump digits click by, the stopped after only 6 gallons. “Uh! Oh!,” I instantly though. “It was not the gas. Something else must be wrong.” I hoped and prayed that I would make it home without any more car troubles.

The drive to Tucson was hotter than a “two dollar pistol.”
When the heat became unbearable, I turned on the air conditioning only to find it was dead. Roasting time was about 8 hours from Las Cruces to Tucson. I figured that long of a period in 111 degree heat was enough to cook just about any living creature. The only thing that saved me was popping Alacer’s Super Gram IIIs, drinking water laced with Emergen-C.

New Vision’s “Super Hydrate” also provided tremendous benefits in keeping my body hydrated.
Patrick Flanagan created this valuable product using his proprietary Microcluster® technology. This unique product lowers the surface tension and increases the alkalinity of water (or other beverages) creating wetter water — water that more closely resembles the water in the cells of your body. It helps water go into the cells at an accelerated rate. As you age, it is harder for your cells to absorb water.

As I drove into the parking lot of a Comfort Inn, right off the freeway, I whispered a prayer of thanks.
Other than no air conditioning, the car performed magnificently. “Silver Belle” had the heart and guts of a road warrior. Perhaps she would carry me all the way home. The morning would tell the story of the new day.

After charging my phone for a few minutes I called a frantic Janet.
She had been trying with no success to call me on my cell phone that was dead. Fear had ruled her day. She imagined my broken body and wrecked car sizzling in some desolate ravine. Janet had been dead opposed to my driving through the night with no sleep.

Janet was furious, distressed and angry with me all at one time, but relieved I was okay.
Telling her about the car problems and no air conditioning was not a good idea. She was furious I was putting my life at risk. All I could do was say, “Sweetheart, I am really sorry. But, I want to get home as soon as possible. I am afraid if I don’t get there soon, my dad will die without me having the opportunity to say goodbye!

Little did I know but one of my favorite uncle’s in San Diego had died that day.
Thankfully, Janet kept the bad news secret. My plate was already overflowing. I did not require any more unfortunate information to create greater anxiety and fear already being dealt with.

What bliss the simple things in life bring during difficult times.
A long warm shower, an air-conditioned room and a soft bed provided a break from the extreme stress of the last 24 hours. Totally exhausted, I slept like a baby. The events were so far out of my control, I decided to just trust in God and let Him sort everything out. I would just flow with whatever happened and accept it as a unique part of my life designed by God to make me a better person and better servant to others.

Before I went to sleep, I used two of my secret health weapons that helped me fight exhaustion for the last 10 days.
I applied a double dose of “Endosis.” It is an adrenal strengthening cream created by Dr. Michael Borkin. This cream is one of my secret weapons for keeping my cortisol, stress hormone, levels balanced. I could not have survived with out it during the last couple of weeks. It provides the important hormone supplementation I need to keep my adrenals from freaking out when I am under extreme stress.

Active H capsules from New Vision. were also very valuable in helping my cells battle the free radicals.
This product created by Patrick Flanagan, a true genius, is one of the most powerful antioxidants available. Called “Fuel for Life”, hydrogen is the most abundant element, making up the majority of all atoms.

In the human body, hydrogen is the essential factor that produces the energy that fuels every human cell.
Active H- is the result of over 30 years of research and development by Patrick Flanagan. This remarkable product contains the latest discoveries in Patrick’s proprietary Microcluster® technology and is treated with active, negatively charged hydrogen ions. Active H- is the most advanced and powerful negatively charged hydrogen ion formula available anywhere!

The morning dawned with intense heat and difficulties appeared from the word go.
I had been out of touch with my blog readers for almost a week. Now that my phone was charged, I hooked up my data cable to my laptop, logged on to the internet and started blogging. After writing for over an hour, the cell phone lost the connection. All my update disappeared into the hidden internet universe, where all lost correspondence disappears into a black hole with no hope of recovery. I hoped this was not a forecast of the trials and tribulations to come.

The car’s surface was already as “hot as an El Paso plate lunch” and I was dreading the final drive.
The car started immediately. “Is this a sign from God everything is going to be okay,” I wondered. The temperatures were already soaring into the low 100s. I kept the driver side window down to try to remain cool. “Who was I kidding? It was like being a roasted chicken under a heat lamp being blow-dried by a
70 mile wind blast. I prayed to God to get me home while I powered down the Alacer Emergen-C and Super Gram IIIs to keep my electrolytes in balance. Heat prostration was not pleasant. I had no desire to die in a car crash after losing consciousness.

The auto accident was devastating.
As I drove along, no sooner had I left Tucson than I saw the traffic on the other side of the freeway at a standstill. A car lay in a mangled heap along side the road. The roof was crushed flat. I said a prayer for the passengers, hoping against fear I would not experience a similar fate.

Sometimes you are too smart by half.
My decision to take HWY 10 through Los Angeles, to create less stress on the car proved dead wrong. Even as I was driving 40 miles east from HWY 8, the subtle feeling of going the wrong way weighed on my unconscious.

There was just something about crossing borders that bothered “Silver Belle.”
Fear and doubt suddenly pummeled me about the head and shoulders…seeking their insidious control over my emotions. The border check point between Arizona and California loomed on the horizon. “Would “Silver Belle” falter and stop? My prayer was that she would victoriously sail across the border and carry me safely home.

My worst fears became reality…again.
As “Silver Belle” slowed down while approaching the check point, she died again. I was barely able to steer her into an empty lane as the power steering ceased. Brute force was required. My foot jammed down on the brake…pressing for all I was worth, trying to stop the car before I ran over the orange cones.

What do you say when FEAR and Despair dog your footsteps?
Totally bummed out was my first emotion. But, in a matter of seconds there was a peace in knowing God was in control. My favorite prayer, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. Acknowledge Him in all your ways and He will direct your path.” echoed in my mind over and over again until I experienced the amazing peace the message promises.

When God is building your faith and character through trials and tribulations, it is no picnic.
It is easy to say, “God, I have had enough. I don’t think I want to be quite that sanctified yet. What else could go wrong? How about something going right for a change?” But, after years of hard experience and guidance from God, I finally realized the the correct question is, “What else can go right?” If total faith and trust in God is a reality, everything that happens is an integral part of His plan. My gut feelings were contrary to my soul’s aspirations.

Not wanting the agents to think I was a border breaker, I jumped out of the car and walked up to them.
When I explained my car problems, they smiled. “For some reason lots of cars stall or break down here. It has to be the heat. They just get too hot with the air conditioners running full blast.” “Can I borrow your bathroom for a second,” I asked. “Sure,” they said kindly after I explained my dad’s condition.

The agents recommended I take the small road to Brawley and El Centro 4 miles down the freeway.
After I explained my free 100 mile towing allowance on the AARP car service, the agents, in no uncertain terms, told me to take the road to Brawley. “If you make it to El Centro, you are within 100 miles of San Diego. You are home free!”

After a quick visit to the men’s room, it was time to see just how far “Silver Belle’s” heart and soul would carry me.
What an incredible champ of a car. She started up immediately and we were on the road again. When the turn off to Brawley appeared in 4 miles, just like the agents promised, I was afraid “Silver Belle” would stall. My least desire was to be stranded in the blazing hot sun, a few miles from the border. So, I did not take their advice and forged ahead, hoping against all odds that I would make it home today.

It was the middle of the day and the blistering sun’s rays were beating down full force on the driver side.
Desperation forced me to wrack my brain to discover solutions that would give my body some relief. I decided to shut down the 111 degree blow dryer by closing the driver side window.

Then miracle of miracles, I opened the passenger side and the temperature changed. Believe it or not, this simple action actually cooled the temperature inside the car dramatically.

111 outside caused concern because I had no idea on how hot it was inside.
Sweat streamed down my face and body. I chugged the water with Emergen-C and popped the Super Gram IIIs every half hour. There was no way I was going to pass out and kill myself or someone else.

After about two hours, gas was running low and I dreaded slowing down.
Chiraco Summit appeared on the horizon, almost like a mirage. As I slowed going up the off ramp, “Silver Belle’s” engine died. It was back to brute force steering. A huge semi truck barely missed my front end as I went through the stop sign, hoping to coast into the station.

Desperation, exhaustion, fear, terror and other unwanted emotions fought for my attention.
It was so hot outside, my hand almost sizzled against the paint. My trip into the station resulted in 4 big bottles of water. My mind was made up. El Centro was my destination…even though backtracking 40 miles was my fate. If only my decision would have been to take HWY 8 straight across the desert to El Centro. My destination would have been attained over an hour ago.

Only 200 miles to go to salvation.
“El Centro, here I come!” I said with a scream of defiance. What ever God had in store for me I could handle with His grace. At 55 miles an hour, it took a lot longer than I imagined to arrive in El Centro. Along the way, I had the opportunity to enjoy the beauty of the azure blue Salton Sea, the delightful smells of fresh cut crops and a slowing of my pace.

Perhaps, all of these events were designed to get my attention and teach me there was really nothing to be gained by worrying and doing everything at high speed.
As cars roared past with their air conditioners humming, windows closed and radios blaring, going slower was not so bad after all. Look at how much pleasure…the sights, sounds and smells they are missing along the way. Was the frenetic pace really worth the risks of early death and life threatening diseases.

Suddenly, the realization that stress was the true killer of hearts, minds and bodies popped into my brain.
The faster I wanted to go, the more God slowed me down. The greater my efforts to attain my goals, the farther away they seemed. Was this my problem? Was I trying to power my way through life, busting down all the obstacles with sheer physical force and determination of will?

What a defining moment in my life this trip through the desert inferno was!
My dad’s stroke, mom’s pneumonia and congestive heart failure, my financial problems and marital difficulties were all messages from God to slow down and smell the roses. Anxiety, stress, fear and terror lead to unrelenting depression, hopelessness and eventually bitterness.

Was I willing to see God’s hand in the failures of my life?
Could I accept the events now transforming my life forever? Was I willing to choose an attitude of total surrender to God’s plan for my life? Was I really ready to let God take over my life? Did I want to know what is possible when you align yourself with what God is already doing in the world and the lives of those around you?

The dying engine, reversed directions and total uncertainty were God’s simple request, “Trust in Me!”
Now I knew the awful truth. Even though I thought I was seeking after God, it was not totally true.

Life always has it’s forwards and backwards, ups and downs.
Finally, I was ready to take His advice. Being beaten to a bloody pulp by your own efforts and thought processes was not God’s loving plan. He sent his son Jesus to take the beating and go through the suffering for us.

Gratefulness and an inner peace calmed my heart and spread through my mind, even in the boiling hot temperatures.
Heat suddenly stopped being a factor. The sweat stopped and a cool breeze came out of no where. El Centro was only 10 miles away. I rejoiced at my new found freedom. Victory over fear, terror, anxiety and depression was mine!

Oh no! Ten stop lights in a row suddenly became the next hurdle.
Even though “Silver Belle” stalled at each stoplight, directing traffic with a smile around my obstacle became a joy. The heat did not seem to affect me. After 5 minutes, “Silver Belle” reliably started up and carried me one small step at at time closer to my home.

When I reached HWY 8 and saw the sign 100 miles to San Diego, my joy was unrestrained.
My goal for towing was reached. I could pull over now and call it a day. Or, I could take the challenge to see just how far God could take “Silver Belle” and me.

The impossibly steep Banner Grade, the road up the backside of the mountains that led to Jacumba, Julian and Alpine, loomed before me.
Could we possibly make it up this last huge obstacle? “Silver Belle,” the magnificent Queen of the Road with the unfaltering Heart of a Road Warrior” took the obstacle at a run. 75 miles per hour, then 70, 60, 50 as the incline increased. I could not believe she was going to make it over the top.

Just as we sailed over the summit at 40 miles per hour the engine died.
I was not afraid. We coasted down the first off ramp. Miraculously, two gas stations populated a lonely outcrop of rock. “Silver Belle” had just enough power to make it to the gas station on the left. She deserved to rest, after her incredible journey. 12 years old was a long time in any car’s life. What a great triumph for a car built in 1992.

With great joy and reverence I turned off the key one last time and locked the door on a dear friend that had taken me farther than I ever imagined she and I could go.
Even to her last moment, “Silver Belle” knew even if I didn’t that there was no phone service in these desolate mountains. With he last dying breath, she had delivered me to a place of safety.

To Be Continued…