Dear Jack,
Thank you for sharing the information about your dad. I used to think that when a person drops dead, it’s a curse.
But after taking care of my mom and dad for four years, I can see that it is a potentially, huge blessing for the person who drops dead, especially if they have a great relationship with God..
I understand why your dad dying suddenly was a real shock for you, and it was difficult for you to return to work. Unfortunately, it is very difficult for the people that remain here on earth.
I’m still dealing with the loss of both of my parents. I never realized how much work it takes to actually dispose of all of their material possessions that they’d accumulated over the years of their lives.
The big question is whether the shock of somebody that you love dying is equivalent to the long-term stress of taking care of them until they do die. It is kind of scary to think that your dad dropped dead at the age of 58 and I just had my 59th birthday.
I have been dealing with my grief by going for walks, watching movies about heroes, writing back to people like you were kind enough to write posts in the warrior forum, sleeping in, working out, going to church, and drinking my fair share of beer, wine and vodka. It seems that a small amount of alcohol goes a long way in helping you deal with emotional pain and sorrow.
I am definitely glad my dad finally decided to leave this world. Once it looked like he was going to be totally bedbound and have to go back into the Emergency Ward for another IV Line to fight another infection, he obviously decided that he had had enough. I am very grateful for that decision and that he did have a massive stroke that took his mind and spirit and left only the physical shell. I was totally burned out on making any more life-and-death decisions.
It did feel good to honor his last wishes and focus on him being my greatest hero. He will always be my hero, in this life and beyond. I am still grieving and I do feel sorrow and loss. I know they are all part of the stages of dealing with death and dying…..
I am hanging in there and I do understand that real men cry. My Dad will always be in my heart and soul….
I will always have a place for him in my heart and that is the way it is supposed to be.
God bless you and your family….
Ralph