Dear Thom,
Thank you for your kind words. Sorry to hear about your Dad’s Parkinsons Disease.
I know it is hard when you see your Dad’s body deteriorating.
My dad’s paralysis was immediate. One day he was fine, the next day totally bed ridden. He could not swallow for six months and had to stay in the hospital all that time.
Just when they were going to put a tube into his stomach, he miraculously started swallowing. It took him four years to finally pass away.
I am still impressed with how little he complained about the hospital bed, wheel chair, diapers, frequent trips to the emergency ward, total dependence on others and so much more.
The major thing I did learn was that even though your dad’s body is failing, the mind is the most precious asset any person has.
Thank God your dad can still communicate with you and has a sharp mind.
In those last precious days of your time together, that is what you will remember and cherish the most…holding his hand, telling you love him, listening to his words of wisdom, having him share his experience of his final days. And, most importantly, his perception of the after life as he gets closer.
You will find that eventually, as he gets closer to death, he will have part of his spirit on earth and part in heaven. It becomes a tug of war for those who love him on earth and those in heaven.
I believe that my dad finally got so lonely for my mom and his older brother, who died within a month of my mom, that he decided to embrace the inevitable. After all, I was ready for him to end his suffering here on earth.
His mission was completed. NOW, it was time to take up his mission and carry on the goodness he spread.
Discover what was your dad’s mission here on earth. Then pray to discover if God wants you to carry on that mission.
Being with you dad through the death process is one of the most precious gifts you will ever receive but also one of the most sorrowful. I think that those individuals who choose to allow others to share in their suffering in the final days, rather than just dropping dead, are true heroes.
They are willing to experience the ultimately levels of humility as a lesson to us, the caregivers, who realize the challenge but also the incredible blessings of taking care of our parents to the end of their days.
It is not easy, but it will be the most rewarding hard work you will ever do. The eternal consequences are great. The personal spiritual development is beyond anything I ever imagined.
Sometimes I think, “I am the one blessed by the tender ministrations of those who are suffering.”
take care,
ralph
PS I decided to celebrate my dad and mom all this holiday weekend. I decided to post my video eulogy on youtube for my mom and dad and my uncle, my dad’s brother who was a Bronze Stars recipient for his actions during the Battle of the Bulge in World War II.