Dear Wofawarrior,
Thank your for your virtual hugs and feelings of love for me and my family. It is people like you and the other wonderful individuals who posted to this thread.
It is amazing how much support I received from my internet family. So many people I don’t even know were praying for me and my family and continue to do so. I appreciate this very much.
I am sorry you had to go through the loss of one or both parents. I guess we are all fated to do at one time or another.
I agree that its not easy. It is the hardest thing I have ever done in my life.
I can not tell you how many times I wished for a different fate for both my mom and dad, perhaps a sudden death like that experienced by Tim Russert recently.
After taking care of them for so long, I consider a quick death a blessing rather than a curse. Although, a instant death is tough on those who remain. It is hard to say which is more difficult for the survivors: instant death or a lingering demise.
“They say time heals all wounds, well I wouldn’t say that but it does teach you to live with them.
It takes a while.”
I agree. I guess the person who said that either had unlimited time or was depending on Alzheimer’s or senility to wipe the mind clean.
That had to be very hard on you with your mom suffering a stroke and dying of cancer. It is tough to see your parent so unhappy and wishing they were dead. The almost dead, the comeback, then almost dead, then comeback recurring cycle is extremely tough for everyone. Sometimes you want to scream…Enough!!!
Not knowing what was coming was challenging, although having biorhythm charts on everyone in the household was a huge advantage for marshaling scarce emotional resources and having an idea of when were the most dangerous and unstable times. Knowing when to allow invasive procedures when the patients have the greatest chance to survive is invaluable.
It was good you had 14 months with your mom. It is an amazing experience to go through the death process with a loved one. The bonding is the most powerful I have every felt, especially with 3 years with my mom and 4 years with my dad.
Even though the emotional and financial challenges were severe, you cannot put a price on the emotional and spiritual rewards you receive when you do the right thing for the people in your life. There is something special about your parents telling you thank you for changing their diapers and feeding them when they can no longer take care of themselves.
Take care,
Ralph